Time is Not on My Side

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Foreign Because the video that I have to make But it's a video that I don't want to Make In the same breath I just want to start by saying thank you For everybody who watches the channel I Appreciate that everyone who Tunes in Live it's awesome I love it especially The live stuff I love doing live shows It's a lot of fun it's exhilarating it's Almost I don't know like an adrenaline Rush doing something live I just I Really enjoy it That being said If you had ever considered Joining the channel as a member Doing things as simple as throwing likes On different videos and subscribing now Is a great time to do that sort of thing The reason why I say that and If I appear physically uncomfortable I Am The reason why I say that is because Over the last year or so there's been a Lot of stuff that's happened here and it Has taken a toll on myself and this Whole my whole family I'm coming to you today so that I can Let you know that We need To say this properly I really don't I I Detest Pandering I'd test putting stuff out

There like that but if you were ever Considering becoming a member of this Channel now is the time because we need It we need it more than ever just do a Series of events that I I really can't detail because it's Just Like I said in previous shows I I don't Want to talk about it because it's not It's not me personally it's just I think It's disrespectful to other people I try to be as vague as possible in Describing some of this stuff About a year ago there was I don't even know how to put this where It's not too much about a year ago there Was a suicide attempt in my family It That day It changed a lot of stuff here It changed it changed me personally I Know some of you can probably tell that I know that the people in my family can Tell that It Wasn't Me by the way I'm not the one But it was someone very close to me And it altered My perception it altered how I think it Altered a lot of things and For some reason that coupled with the Passing my sister due to cover the year Before it seemed like I could even tell I had become different Now that's not

Here nor there that's not a that's not The reason why this is all happening the Reason why it's all happened is several Things in a row And I just I feel like a rock in a stream would not Be so long for the ride and there's Nothing I can do about it as much you Know I come down here a lot of you know This I come down here as soon as I can In the morning I take my kids to school I come down here I start working on Various projects and a lot of times I Don't stop until I have to take a shower Or skip the shower and just come in for A few minutes and go to bed I don't want there to be any excuse why As far as Just working as hard as you can I don't Want there to be any excuse that I fail In any way I've always felt that way uh After I left the field It was a very big struggle on how Just the fact that I was doing a podcast On HVAC I wasn't in the field anymore And I no longer had that field credit to My name and it just felt like I don't know I felt lazy even though I Was still working I felt lazy at the Same time I don't know if that makes any Sense because I didn't have that grind In the field That has inspired me to work as hard as I can to fall to a point which I don't

Think I could do it anymore because I Keep sleeping through the alarms in the Morning because I'm exhausted Uh That's not anybody's fault or doing it's Just what I've chosen to do to appease My inner self Inner Voice or whatever You want to call it I don't I don't want There to be any excuses Um throughout the whole process I never Lost Uh never lost my faith in God in fact I Think that suffering is not necessarily A sign of the absence of the Lord I Don't believe that I believe suffering Is part of the game which you know the Bible talks about that But suffering Ease of life is not guaranteed basically Ease of life is not guaranteed so I know That no matter how much I love the Lord Your whole life may be difficult and That is a scary proposition especially When you're trying to do the right thing And it's just not working out I need y'all's help if you ever thought About doing this sort of thing do it now Now's the Time you might be able to take Credit for helping this show stay where It's at Imma try as hard as I can if you need or Want anything from me that I can do Differently or something you'd like to See maybe it's something we did in the

Past you'd like to see come back Anything like that put it in the Comments I'm not going now without a fight But it's been a heck of a fight for a Long time and I would like it to ease up Slightly that would be nice easing up Slightly would be a good thing For anybody that I've lost contact with Over the last year I just didn't have an enemy to keep Contact up I just I just couldn't do it I couldn't Pick up the phone and call anybody I Couldn't do any of that stuff and I Still have difficulty doing it just Because every time that I release some Of this out of The inside of my brain once it comes out My mouth like I'm talking to you guys Out there but it's vague this time I'm Not telling you all the details Uh it's like it becomes even more real And bottling it up stops that that's Definitely not healthy but I mean that's You do what you need to do to survive And that's what you do and that's what I've done and I'm on here not because I want to be but Because The alternative Is worse The alternative of keeping your pride And losing everything else is worse so

I wanted to do this I wanted to come on Here I've been having a great time doing the Live shows here recently I've I've kind of resolved to myself said I'm Going to continue doing these live shows As much as I can I'd even do more I just I just love doing them if you Want to see more I will try to do it uh If if becoming a member to have a Specialized live show just for members Would help you just put that down just Let me know I've tried stuff like that in the past And you know stuff always comes up but You know now's the make or break moment Now's the Time in which you put up or Shut up so I'm gonna put up as hard as I Can until I have to shut up Until the power is cut off on my Microphone and I have to shut up so Thank you everybody out there I can't believe I've been on YouTube This long there's so many people that Have passed me by with their channels so Many guys that are you know 100 200 000 Subscribers and for a while I was like Man I wish I could do that but now you Know what I'll be content just to be Able to have a nice easy go of it for a While I don't need the subscribers I just want the nice fun to have live Streams with you guys talk to you guys Do all that stuff and have a phone that

Works I cannot afford to fix the Freaking phone No I'm not asking for Anything you don't want to give Just the membership think about the Membership if you don't want to do the Membership I understand that put some Likes on the video try to remember to Put likes on videos that you like I'm Not asking you to like something you Don't like and I don't want you to do Something you don't want to do I just Want you to if there's something you Think about doing consider doing it That's all I can say I mean that's this Is already making me feel like a piece Of crap so I'm getting off of here and I'll be back Live maybe tomorrow night I think I Might do tomorrow night we're gonna be Gone because My daughter Has a Raider meet for ROTC we're gonna Go watch her and I won't be back in Maybe Sunday night I'll be back after That but hopefully tomorrow or Thursday We stream and then we'll do it again on Sunday so That's where we're at in life guys That's where we're at in life I hope you're doing well uh I I really You know it's a good life out here no It's not perfect but it's really good I

Love it so What can you say all right guys I'll see You on the next one

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